3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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