Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
