I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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