Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
