Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
