Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
