She said her name was "party"
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
