i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
