Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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