Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Thank you for not boning my boss.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
