if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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