he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
