Kiss
Puke
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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