can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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