This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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