it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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