ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize