There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
