I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
