My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dignity is for republicans.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
