so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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