Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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