If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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