I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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