Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
