I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
