the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
