that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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