shes about as inviting as chlamydia
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
