What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
