mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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