We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
