How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
