I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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