We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
