you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
