I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize