Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
