oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
