and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
