i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
