States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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