I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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