Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize