I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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