I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
