Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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