I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
