Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
