apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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