Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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