Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
