You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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