worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
