Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
