People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
