I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
