Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
