You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
