My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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